final entry to this blog.........

i was blog jumping on one boring day and found a link to my BLOG!

tht means this has made public literally..

i have a new site,,,supposedly un informative as i hope...i bet...

i shall congrats if you manage to find me...

alas.... nice to know you stalkers.

Im cooking... T is coming over for dinner tonite at my apt..and im cooking spagetthi and ceaser salad as entry, with brownies as a dessert.. not bad impressing org belanda huh? hoho. since mr M is far away in semenanjung, i'd reckon i have the right to outsource my dinner mate on this special 14feb dinner nite.. hihi.

along the way of cooking, i got a sms...and i responded,,

me: im cooking at home, masak spagetti for my dinner..and you?

M: good, youre at home cooking, coz tht means youre not with some other guy. i tengah makan sorang sorang kat kedai...

me: *guiltyly* ...yeah...good to hear tht too..

im bad... but whats sad is..i dont care! yeah~

after dinner tht nite, T was at my house main internet and showing his pictures when he was travelling to Nepal etc. we were lying down on the floor and me looking at his laptop tiny screen by his side.. and the clock hits 10.30pm..  my housemate was all not in town, and it was only me and him.. he was delaying everything by the seconds..

his lips were so sweet.

correction...the smile on his lips were sweet..  :o

Once again i've ignored my blog..i was busy..

coz to me..i worked hard and play hard..

week days means work, and weekends means totally forgetting about work.

my last entry was in december..bohoo!! im now in a bit of stressed..my final presentation is tomorrow, and im 50%done with the slides..i hate being powerpoint engineer... i love being powerpoint engineer...now thats a love-hate relationship.

i am now back in malaysia,,my body weight gained like mad after sought-ing for any local food tht i have missed.. i had a terrible returning flight.. i was downgraded to economy class.. fuck my business class ticket! i was transitting in LA for 3 days without my luggage pulak tuh..i really missed my toothbrush and for all i know, i kene downgraded to economy..freaking MAS! but i had fun being rude to the cabin crew.. too bad they are the final line of the food chain.. facing the first degree of customer feedback..bwahaha.. i'll remember it till the day i die! i bet the cabin crew was fantasizing of killing me..i was a total beeyotch..yeah..~ do it with style bebeh! phew tht was fun

10 feb huh?  nothing special... yeah sumthing is special..i wish im single coz then im able to be with mr T... hish.. im so ungrateful.. i might be spending 14th feb with T i think..  :P

I came unconquered, uncompetent and hunger to learn..

after 2 month in houston ( with few embarassing moments) the time has come to go back.. it was a wonderful experience, and im aware of the expectation of ppl in the office towards me... im fine, im "orang kompetan" like u said yeah!

hey you know what, i think i miss you.. i know you know.. you know i know.. so whats next??? boy u do run a bit too far didnt ya? once again, farah ruined it.. i must ave grab it a bit too strong that i choke the air out of it..

p/s:i can smell the satay from the MAS flight..24 hours from now, yeah!

25 years old i am now.im in houston and alone. 14 dec, and i learn that other famous ppl birthdaying with me is Nostradamus, amber chia, dafi af (seriously?) and others.. not bad huh?

Mukrim drop me a sms this morning, he is a sweet guy. cant wait to see him next weekend in Miri.probably i will postpone my birthday celebration until then. as of tonight, maybe i will be in the hotel room and reminiscing myself, and my inner self.  i need this. god has given me soo much that im afraid i had borrowed my future to it.

im a quarter century and i'll happy to lived for another one. i learn a lot and had achieved a lot for what i can think off, i would like to thank the ppl that i had met in my life, crosseed my path and makes a difference. And i always believe life is short, its a borrowed time from tomorrow.. thank you God. Alhamdulillah.

thank you for loving me, peoples. there's a reason to everything that happen, kan?

This worth a solat syukur.. alhamdulillah.

-Farah as a 25 years old.

p/s:........  i told you so certain things are better left unsaid.

Hi, i was one week offline from work/life/and other things that used to make me feel alive. prior to that i was in new orleans and spend a very quality time touring the city for the third time with my friend.. a dear friend that i really appreciate and trying to hate right now.

I took one week off and stayed at my friend house in Montgomery,Alabama and did noting but sleep, online to the internet, and deep thinking mode.

My friend who hosted me is a lovely doctor who goes to hospital everyday and brought me lunch before heads back to work again.. I am just like a pet in the house doing nothing while waiting for the owner to get back--at least thats what i felt like.. last nite we departed from atlanta airport, and i headed back to houston , while she took off to backpack in europe..alone.

We have a beautiful friendship, and it sucks when its time to say goodbye .

despite our differences in life, work, culture and religion, i have to say im glad that i knew you.. you are a special friend and its ok for you to not know about this fact. we are georaphically challenged almost all the time...observing your life and the world revolves around you gives me a inner learning that is priceless.. and my final quote to her was:

"im not sure when i'll see you again in this life...so lets be a good peole on this earth, so that we can meet again when we are in heaven."

then i cried like a baby, hugged her at the airport gate, i cried so bad its a shame to me..and then off to my boarding room and never turn back. im very afraid to see her expression on her face as i walk away from her life... i dont think so i will have the chance to see again...but i will miss you tho.

p/s: im sorry to turn away when you said those assuring words,, its true life is unfair!

p/s/s: I will miss you. i promise

please litsen to the song leona lewis :better in time. i heart tht song for months now, i think i helped the you tube rating for it.

Who am i?

-im a positive person, and suprisingly, ramai kat Miri (i just found out) yang took me as a role model to be a positive person,berat beban itu. kalau aku sedih, takda sapa yang nak dengar, sebab mereka mahu idola mereka is as what they seen. not the opposite. sebab itu aku suke senyap bila aku marah/sedih.

-As others at my age is experiencing, dilemmas.i have no idea who i am. what defines me, nor what future holds for me. hence i take things one at a time. Bipolar is best fits me.. i want to be a good person, tapi sebenarnya aku lebih suke jadi jahat.

-kepercayaan aku terhadap agama is .... is there to guide me? tapi i just cant imagine a lot of things and why does it has to be like that. mak cakap jangan pertikai kan nya. so i did the math silently in my brain.

-i think life is good, as long as you dont know what youre missing!!!

but above all,, i really want to know what others think about me. not that i cared, but psychologycally, i love to know how ppl think and perspective that i potray to others.

and i also think. 6 weeks in us membuatkan aku jadi tak betul.

now.... what do YOU THINK OF ME?

p/s:counting hours now.. tak sabarnye!

My boss invited me to his house for thanksgiving..

it was a lovely dinner, they are old couple, both geologist and takder anak (but has 3 black cat!).. i dont think so they ada agama... but anyways..

his wife kerja kat nasa, and is a very lovely  sarcastic person. haha.. she tried to cook everything as traditionally as possible (except for the cranberry gravy from the can!).. the turkey + stuffings was 9 pound or sth like that.. 5 hours dalam oven!

it was a nice experience and the couple did ask a lot of question rather like a job interview, about political understanding (obama la tuh), education, life and economic. im like their grown up child they never had kot.. anyways, it was a nice sampling of thanksgiving.. they were suprised to learn that i am still 24 y.old... haha..

anyways, back to work now..

i miss malaysia.. gambate..3 weeks to go!!!!!!

Im in Houston this weekend...last week was in Dallas and it was a tiring one, although alexis was a good host, but the 5 hours driving alone was a torture to me..

Anyways, i felt facebook makes my life transparent, i do post a status that is current to me, but the writings on my wall are sometime over the top.. the fact that im cool person is encouraging ppl to act the same towards my wall kot. some weird ol fren's post can be so provocative... i dont care what others think about me so why bother to welcome it?

but it has to stop, so i changed my settings.no one can see my wall~ haha.

a girl friend of mine who works in shell miri actually delete her account last week, coz it was said to take control of her life. i think she did the right thing..

but for me, i'll take it that i can still control my life and my wall so i manage it.i am addicted to it too, but i should be able to control that.over this weekend i had delete a lot of friend from my list, particularly those passive ones (the active ones will notice im dropping them!)

aaahhh....i would like to sigh backwards, maybe next weekend, when im in new orleans withmy korean friend..cant wait to see her again!want to tell her about my lovelife and all..hihi..girls talk here we go! owh,, i will also take one week off to live with her nanti.. so houston..im outta here! here come alabama!

I want to learn to love... relationship, apparantly is about managing expectation,..your personal expectation, and the loved ones expectation.

i want to love him as i think its easier to learn accepting love,  then trying to love someone who doesnt love you back.

but in reality and commonly, its always about trying to love someone thats gonna hurt you, and not realising the love that has been on there your doorstep.

I used to love this someone (noted past tense), he's not malaysian and that just make things complicated at the first stage.. i learned that he is a charming man and adorable that can make any girls to fall for him, which makes me realise, im just ordinary to him and another fact that he already has a girlfriend and yet being nice to other girls is a scary thot.

so to my newly current bf.... i want to love him for accepting me as i am.. and try not to think too much, coz overcooked relationship doesnt necessarily make good flavors.

His birthday is 18 days away (4 days after mine), thot of giving him ipod, might wanna check on wal-mart...  last friday a person died in walmart sbb kene stamping by the crowd trying to catch the black friday sales.. omg!

felt like screaming jumping and singing my heart out..

p/s: i just bought a nikon D40 SLR yesterday, damn good deal.. so it will be our camera soon!!

p/s/s: I love you Mr. M...